Grandparents
She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the
watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After
she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma,
you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'
#####
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me
how old I was, and I told him, '62.'
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'
#####
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks
and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children
getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a
towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with
stern warnings. As she left
the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who
was THAT?'
#####
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was
like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries
in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she
said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
#####
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you know how you
and God are alike?'
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, 'No, how are we
alike?'
'You're both old,' he replied.
#####
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.
She told him she was writing a story.
'What's it about?' he asked.
'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'
#####
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to
test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell
me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed
for the door, saying sagely,
'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'
#####
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off
until we were
inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us
in. Noticing
them before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are
coming after us
with flashlights.'
#####
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.'
'Look in your
underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'mine says I'm four to six.'
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Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher.
One of the small boys wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.'
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know
what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It
means carrying a child.'
#####
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one
day when a fire
truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children
started discussing the dog's duties.
'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck.'
A third child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' She said
firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants...
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