WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
George W. Bush
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road or not. The chicken is either with us or
against us. There is no middle ground here.
John Kerry
Mr. Bush sent it there by mistake, thus endangering
its life.
Remember Chickens he is trying to kill you - vote for
me.
Al Gore
I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented
the application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
Ralph Nader
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the
other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Pat Buchanan
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Rush Limbaugh
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross
the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already
forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?
How much more of this can real Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about
money, money the government took from you to build
roads for chickens to cross.
Jerry Falwell
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
what they call it- the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken,
you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens 'til we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."
Dr. Suess
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway
To die. In the rain. Alone
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.
Grandpa
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.
Barbara Walters
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.
John Lennon
Imagine all the chickens crossing the roads in peace.
Aristotle
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx
It was a historical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Voltaire
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
defend to the death its right to do it.
Ronald Reagan
What chicken?
Captain Kirk
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Fox Mulder
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How
many chickens have to cross the road before you
believe it?
Sigmund Freud
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals you underlying sexual
insecurity.
Bill Gates
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook - and
Internet Explorer is an in extricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market
to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
Albert Einstein
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
Bill Clinton
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken,
please?
The Bible
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
Colonel Sanders
I missed one?
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